Utter bollocks from January

09/01

"I killed a reindeer and drank its blood. Well you have to really."

12/01

"Do you think tonight will be the night?"
"Could be."
"Tell her."
"Probs not then."

"You're going over there with a ready opened condom packet?"
"I may as well just put it on now"

13/01

"People say ignorance is bliss- I say...  I hate ignorance"

"I went to talk to Frank"
"I know more than Frank does"

16/01

"No but once I had sex with my girlfriend and her vagina was really hot."
"Sweaty?"
"Not sweaty just really really hot"
"Like someone had put  handwarmer up there?"
"Erm. Yeah I guess. But it was amazing. I didnt know how it got like that or how to recreate it though"
"Put a hand warmer up there?"

"I havnt had sex this year. Or even had a wank."
"Have you pooed?"
"Er yeah."
"Well there you go, its not all bad!"

17/01
"Aren't Pandas gay?"
"What?!"
Well I've never seen a pregnant panda"

"Once somebody jumped on my belly and a little bit of poo came out"

19/01

"What's a Boa Constrictor, some sort of massive bird?"


23/01

"Im not stupid, my Q.I is higher than that!"

"I'd rather eat my on sick than have bananas or eggs."
"Would you eat your own sick that is bananas and eggs rather than having to eat more bananas and eggs?"
"Yes"

24/01

"Your friend is going to think that you're a slut now Tinkerbell"
"She knows."

End of December Quotes

I've realised, these are mainly quite lewd things. Unfortunately that's what happens when 12 boys share a dorm in the Alps. I blame the altitude..


21/12

"When you've not cracked one off for 5 weeks it will just go everywhere when you do"
"Well don't wank in your own bed"
"It will be in everyone's bed"

"I don't even have to touch it, I just have to get a tiny bit of friction and it goes off"

"I won't wank in the toilet because if I misfire it will stick to the wall."

"Can I have a wank in your sock?"

29/12

"I said to her why are you with *** when I can do this, and then I fell into press ups"

30/12
"She makes me nervous with lust"

"Our teacher at school was really hot and at the start of the year she was telling us she has a tattoo, but she never told us much more about it so we were always wondering. We kept asking her but it was alwsy a mystery. Anyway at the end of the year we kept asking and she showed us: it was a lizard and the tongue was licking her vagina."

01/01

"You fit so much in to your days off here."
"I don't think I do to be honest"
"Well you've had sex, had a wank, cleaned the kitchen."
"Oh yeah I enjoyed the cleaning"
"And the other two were such a chore??"