Utter bollocks from January

09/01

"I killed a reindeer and drank its blood. Well you have to really."

12/01

"Do you think tonight will be the night?"
"Could be."
"Tell her."
"Probs not then."

"You're going over there with a ready opened condom packet?"
"I may as well just put it on now"

13/01

"People say ignorance is bliss- I say...  I hate ignorance"

"I went to talk to Frank"
"I know more than Frank does"

16/01

"No but once I had sex with my girlfriend and her vagina was really hot."
"Sweaty?"
"Not sweaty just really really hot"
"Like someone had put  handwarmer up there?"
"Erm. Yeah I guess. But it was amazing. I didnt know how it got like that or how to recreate it though"
"Put a hand warmer up there?"

"I havnt had sex this year. Or even had a wank."
"Have you pooed?"
"Er yeah."
"Well there you go, its not all bad!"

17/01
"Aren't Pandas gay?"
"What?!"
Well I've never seen a pregnant panda"

"Once somebody jumped on my belly and a little bit of poo came out"

19/01

"What's a Boa Constrictor, some sort of massive bird?"


23/01

"Im not stupid, my Q.I is higher than that!"

"I'd rather eat my on sick than have bananas or eggs."
"Would you eat your own sick that is bananas and eggs rather than having to eat more bananas and eggs?"
"Yes"

24/01

"Your friend is going to think that you're a slut now Tinkerbell"
"She knows."

End of December Quotes

I've realised, these are mainly quite lewd things. Unfortunately that's what happens when 12 boys share a dorm in the Alps. I blame the altitude..


21/12

"When you've not cracked one off for 5 weeks it will just go everywhere when you do"
"Well don't wank in your own bed"
"It will be in everyone's bed"

"I don't even have to touch it, I just have to get a tiny bit of friction and it goes off"

"I won't wank in the toilet because if I misfire it will stick to the wall."

"Can I have a wank in your sock?"

29/12

"I said to her why are you with *** when I can do this, and then I fell into press ups"

30/12
"She makes me nervous with lust"

"Our teacher at school was really hot and at the start of the year she was telling us she has a tattoo, but she never told us much more about it so we were always wondering. We kept asking her but it was alwsy a mystery. Anyway at the end of the year we kept asking and she showed us: it was a lizard and the tongue was licking her vagina."

01/01

"You fit so much in to your days off here."
"I don't think I do to be honest"
"Well you've had sex, had a wank, cleaned the kitchen."
"Oh yeah I enjoyed the cleaning"
"And the other two were such a chore??"

Week 2

As we become more comfortable with each other,more things slip out and the stories flow. Some people have done some frightening, strange and astonishing things in their lives; and we want to hear them all. We have been

09/12
"We used to pee on each other at cashpoints"

"I can't believe he's getting laid before me."

"Can I have your sloppy seconds?

"The shag's off, I poured water on the lass's head" Well done Ollie

"Who's handwriting is this? Can you tell me who wrote this Dion?"
"Yep well its signed Naomi so I'm going to guess her." Ollie


10/12
My ancestor is like Jesus he went across Germany stealing chickens to survive!"

Dion: Nannies are here for the babies, snow rangers are here for the snow.
Roberto: Im just here to be a dickhead.

"She was 48? That's like shagging your mum"
"She was older than my mum"
"What!?"
"It wasn't bad I got a cooked breakfast in the morning"
"So you basically were shagging your mum."
"I worked with her daughter"
"Wasn't that awkward?"
"Breakfast was awkward"
"I'd be suicidal after that"

"It was about 7 in the morning and I woke up next to this lass, and I thought:exit! exit! exit! Unfortunately she had put the burglar alarm on and I set  it off trying to leave."

11/12

"I've got the length but not the girth" Ollie

"It goes up so easily after a month"
"What- people's opinion of you when you talk about masturbation in front of  you? "Probs not.

12/12

"These shirts are no good for my sensitive nipples" Jimbo

"Spaghetti dick!"

"Ollie is like a piece of cooked spaghetti, unless he is being grinded on the dancefloor and then its more like uncooked spaghetti"

13/12

"Rosie why are you engaged!?!" Everyone, in anger.

"Yarite lov, I wanna cheeseburger!" Ginge, but the French did not understand Yorkshire.

"Who is spaghetti dick?" Ginge
A period of silence
"I'm pretty sure its me" Ollie

14/12
"The only acceptable place to have a wank is off the balcony." A general palace rule

17/12
"I want to go to Bar La Roz for power hour"
"Is that like slut hour?"
"Err, I don't know"

"I dont like to go to a pub with a laptop"
"No me neither because you just leave it there."

"All the Japanese are not having sex with real people. Robots, right?"

18/12

"Where do the Eagles live in La Ros, ther are no trees"

Week 1

La Ros represent! These are a small handful of quotes from out first week- training in Les Arcs. At first, some people were apprehensive about coming out of their shell, but Jimbo kicked things off by being hilarious from the start and not holding back. Before long we were all sprouting phrases like coconuts!

03/12

Jimbo on 'Black Magic':

"I am so confused, how is this even a game?"

"Oh I thought it meant a waffle you eat!"
Jimbo

04/12

"Can we have people in our rooms if its not a sleep over then?" Emily E

"The news hasn't been as good as 9/11" Jimbo


06/12

"I don't get hangovers" Jimbo about 12 times. We shall see!

"I was giving an I.E" Jimbo


"What if you get cramp in the welcome speech?!`` And again.


"I do change my socks, I've just got smelly feet. I'm very sensitive about it" It was pretty much a Jimbo day.

07/12
"I'm sprouting milk like a coconut!" Emily Evans


What must every parent/guardian provide us with?
"A child"
Ginge

"I've slept in a double bed with two guys and a girl. No- a guy and a girl. No wait two girls" Mike
We don't believe you.

08/12

Jimbo on kids:
"Are there any friendly ones?"

And "How do women get the breast milk out?"

Sarah: "Albino turtles, what colour are they?"



Thanks for the first week guys, its been great "Getting to know you!"